March 27, 2013 by Chris Kite
The arguments against gay marriage are plenty, but universally illogical.
1 – We should not allow gay people to marry because they cannot bare children. Solution: Force all married couples to have at least one child. If they are not fertile, they cannot marry.
2 – Children need a mom and a dad to thrive. Solution: Force all unmarried people to use birth control. If one parent dies, the remaining parent must either immediately marry or the child (or children) will be taken away and given to a family with a mom and a dad.
3 – Gay parents will raise gay children. Solution: Establish a committee to identify all “non-ideal” traits that we don’t want to see in people and then exclude people with those traits from being able to marry.
4 – Allowing gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage. Solution: Make divorce illegal. Mandatory prison time for infidelity, verbal abuse, unkind actions toward a spouse.
5 – The bible forbids gay marriage. Solution: Identify all things any religion forbids and make it illegal. No pork. No mixing meat and dairy. No working on Saturdays or Sundays. No alcohol or tobacco. No dancing. No music. No technology.
This all sounds pretty extreme. But then so is not allowing two people of the same sex to marry!
Some people are gay. Get over it!